Politeness Is A Thing of The Past

Our grandparents are shocked. Young people these days have no manners. The old courtesies have gone. Nobody shows any respect these days.

With all due respect, our grandparents are wrong. People are no less polite than they used to be; they just express themselves differently.

Certainly most of the elaborate formulas of politeness have disappeared both in speech and in writing. People have become more relaxed. But the courtesy is still there, when it is needed.

If anything, abondoning the rigid conventions has made life more difficult. People show deference and politeness in more subtle ways. And it is important to be sensetive to them. It may be done by using the conditionals, would or could, or by starting a request with the words 'I wonder if...'

For no obvious, logical reason, politeness is often conveyed by the past tense.

Why do people begin a speech by saying : 'I just wanted to say...' - when they obviously still want to say it ?

And presumably the waiter doesn't really think that his customer has changed his mind when he asks : 'Was the steak for you?'

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Public Schools

There are five major banks in Britain. All five chairmen were educated at Winchester College or Eton College.

The same two schools prduced the editor of The Times, the head of the Home Civil Service, the head of the Foreign Service and the two top men at the BBC - not to mention seven members of the cabinet.

This was the score in the early eighties.

There are about 200 public schools in Britain, and Winchester and Eton are the oldest and most famous.

The name is misleading - they are in fact private, fee - paying schools. Children take an entrance exam to get in and they start at the age of 13. The schools take them as far as university entrance.

Public schools account for about 6% of the school population and are the subject of great debate amongst education reformers.

In the meantime parents spend the equivalent of two thirds of the avarage Englishman's pay packet on the fees for one child.

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Schools in Britain

At the age of five an english child lets go of his mother's apron strings and goes out into the wide world. For the next six years his world is the primary school.

At the ripe old age of eleven, he moves on to secondary school where he continues to learn the traditional subjects: English, maths, music, a foreign language, history, geography. But he will also begin to study science, another language and subjects like cookery, woodwork (both boys and girls) and more music.

Education is compulsory until the age of sixteen.

State secondary schools are known as Comprehansive schools. But it is impossible to generalize about them. They vary considerably from area to area.

A hundred different local authorities administer them and the headmasters and headmistresses have far more influence than their counterparts in other European countries.

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The Electronic Window

The British are avid watchers of television. Many people sit in front of the electronic window for as long as five hours every evening.

Then, when the programmes come to an end, half the population switches off and goes to bed. The electricity companies have to make special arguments to cope with the sudden increase in demand as they all switch on their bedroom lights together.

There are several channels. And there is a choice between news programmes, films, variety programmes, dramatizations of classic novels, pop-music, wild life documentaries, and quiz shows.

But what the British like best is a 'soap-opera' - a never - ending serial about the life of ordinary things. No murders...no car chases...no bitter court-room battles; just everyday people faced with the hopes and problems of everyday life.

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Coronation Street

Coronation Street is somewhere in the north of England - probably in Manchester. The modest inhabitants are known to every person in England who is blind or under the age of one year old.

There is a pub on the corner called The Rover's Return and a jeans factory close by.

Elsie Tanner works in the jeans factory. She had has lot of husbands and has a heart of gold. Everyone likes her except Hilda Ogden - she disapproves of her men friends.

Hilda Ogden is about sixty. She wears a cheap blue raincoat and her hair in curlers. She is the local gossip. She is married to Stan.

Stan Ogden has always kept away from work as if it might bite him. He has a 'bad back'. He likes to bet on the horses and to drink a pint of beer down at the Rover's Return. Their lodger, Eddie Yates, is a dustman.

Annie Walker runs the Rover's Return. She thinks she is in a class above her customers. If anything goes wrong she clasps her hand to her temples saying: 'I feel a migraine comming on'.

Len Fairclough is reliable, friendly and straightforward. He owns a builder's yard. His wife Rita used to be a singer. Now she works in her newsagent's shop with her assistant Mavis, who is plain, neuroic and lives with a budgerigar.

The activities of these characters are the subject of conversations in buses speculation in pubs and articles in the press. And it is only a television serial.

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Marriage British Style

True lovers don't need a good carriage to take them to the church-or even a Rolls Royce. This old Cockney song is nown and sung all over England:

"Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer,do.

I'm half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage

- I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet

Upon the seat

Of a bicycle made for two. "

But a wedding is a special occasion and most families spend a lot of money to clebrate it. They hire big cars to carry the bride and groom, and they invite all their friends and relations to a reception afterwards.

The bridgeroom arrives first at the church with his best man. He is usually the groom's best friend. He acts as a steadying influence on the nervous groom - makes sure that he does not lose the ring and checks the soles of his new shoes to see that he is not displaying a price tag as he kneels in front of the congregation.

The bride arrives late with her father and her bridesmaids.

At the reception afterwards champagne is drunk, a monumental cake is eaten, and uncles make nostalgic and sentimental speeches. The bridegroom thanks everyone for coming. And the best man makes a funny speech.

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Sunday Afternoon

Don't bother to consult a work of sociology, if you want to know what the English do in their spare time. Just go for a walk on one of the London commons on a Sunday afternoon.

There are joggers and strollers, picnickers and sunbathers and there might be groups of young men practising Japanese martial arts under an oak tree.

Away from the trees, children and grown men tug at the sky, sending all manner of elaborate kites soaring high against the wind. Others carry sophisticated radios, which kontrol scale-models of Royal Air Force planes that they have built lovingly on their kitchen tables.

On a small pond an old man re-enacts the Battle of the River Plate, with perfect miniature replicas of the naval warships. They look odd among the sails of the modal-yacht club.

Another pond is reserved for anglers. Their patience is as long as their fishing lines.

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Some Famous Names in British Jazz

Chris Barber: Trombone, New Orleans revivalist, on the road again with his wife Ottilie Patterson.

Graham Collier: Bass player, composer and arranger. An influential figure with other musicians.

Johny Dankworth: Saxophone, Composer, arranger and band leader. He works with his wife, singer Cleo Laine.

Dave Holland: Bass. He has played less in Britain since Miles Davies walked into Ronnie Scoot's club and offered him a job.

Humphrey Lyttleton: Trumpet. An urbane father figure and guiding light of British jazz.

John McLoughin: Guitar. World renowned jazz man. He has played with Miles Savies, Carlos Santana and others.

George Melly: Singer. He is a writer, a collector of Surrealist paintings, and an eccentric. He signs like Bessie Smith!

Dick Morrissey: Saxaphones. Leader of a very popular jazz-rock band with Jim Mullen (guitar)

Tony Oxley: Avant-garde percussionist. He is one of the best drummers in the world. He made a famous record with John Mc Loughin and John surman.

Ronnie Scoot: Tenor Sax. He is the leader of his own Quintet and the owner of a famous jazz club in London.

Alan Skidmore: Saxaphones. World famous son of Jimmy Skidmore, who used to play with Humphrey Lyttleton.

Kathy Stobart: Saxaphone. She is a regular player on the British scene.

John Surman: Virtuoso player, who can do things with a baritone sax that no-one else can do.

Barbara Thompson: Tenor sax and flute. She leads a Be-bop and Modern jazz group called Paraphernaila.

Stan Tracy: He was the house pianist at Ronnie Scott's Club. He now has his own and with his son on drums.

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The Band On The Wall

The fish porters in Manchester used to go to big, old 19th century pub - the George and Dragon. The atmosphere was warm (though maybe a little rough), the beer was good and there was music.

In order to get more people in - or maybe to put the musicans out of throwing range of the customers, the landlord stuck a platform on the wall. Everybody called the pub the 'Band on the Wall'.

Now the fish market has gone. In its place is a placeful crafts market. And the 'Band on the Wall' has become one of the most interesting venues in the North of England for jazz, Rock, Blues and Reggae.

Some music pubs tend to speialize. In London the most famous for jazz is the Bull's Head at Barnes (Seven nights a week and Sunday lunchtimes - past visitors include Zoot Sims and Ben Webster). But jazz fans also go to clubs. The hot spots are Ronnie Scott's in Soho (past visitors include everyone you've ever heard of), the 100 Club in Oxford Street, the Canteen in Covent Garden, and the Pizza Express.

But if your taste is less specialized, you can be sure that, whereever you are, you are not far from a pub with a warm atmosphere, good beer and music.

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English Pub Signs

In days of old, when knights were bold, and most people in England were illiterate, men still liked to have a drink with their friends in an inn or an ale-house.

So the inns put up pictorial signs to announce their existence. The tradition has never died out. The 73,000 pubs in Britain still have signs - and names which relate to the old pictures.

Inn names and signs evoke ancient customs, local families, national heroes, stirring events... A history of Britain could be written from them.

The Chequers: 'The Chequers' (chessboard) was used as a sign for an inn where foreign sailors could change money before bereaux de change were invited.

Elephant and Castle: This sign commemorates Edward I's queen the Infanta de Castillia. After a few beers mediaeval Englishmen found it eassier to say 'Elephant and Castle'!

Cross Keys: The Cross Keys were the badge of St. Peter and of the archbishops. This pub ay have been a meeting place for Crusaders.

The Plough: In towns, pubs called "The Plough" seem like an anomaly but they are a reminder of how cities have expanded over agricultural areas.

The Royal Oak: King Charles II escaped after the Battle of Worcester (1651) by hiding in an oak tree.

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