Our grandparents are shocked. Young people these days have no manners. The old courtesies have gone. Nobody shows any respect these days.
With all due respect, our grandparents are wrong. People are no less polite than they used to be; they just express themselves differently.
Certainly most of the elaborate formulas of politeness have disappeared both in speech and in writing. People have become more relaxed. But the courtesy is still there, when it is needed.
If anything, abondoning the rigid conventions has made life more difficult. People show deference and politeness in more subtle ways. And it is important to be sensetive to them. It may be done by using the conditionals, would or could, or by starting a request with the words 'I wonder if...'
For no obvious, logical reason, politeness is often conveyed by the past tense.
Why do people begin a speech by saying : 'I just wanted to say...' - when they obviously still want to say it ?
And presumably the waiter doesn't really think that his customer has changed his mind when he asks : 'Was the steak for you?'
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